The Good, The Bad & The Ugly Stag pranks by Maximise.

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As a Best man, rocking a memorable Stag Do pitched to perfection can appear as tricky as convincing your nan that Movember is only for us guys without hurting her feelings. For a leg up look no further than the unique marvel of the good people at Maximise. They have the experience and the cahones to make sure that your Stag Do is one to be reveled in over many pints for years to come. Enjoy their guest blogging comedy gold.

Maximise are the leading specialist Stag weekend organiser in the UK. You’ll find great Stag ideas for your weekend in the UK, Europe or abroad on our website, just take a look!

Stag Pranks: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

I’ll sleep better knowing my good friend is by my side to protect me” says Blondie in the classic western The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. It’s a sentiment echoed by a lot of grooms-to-be on a stag do, but unfortunately it’s usually the best friend you need to keep an eye on.

In the wake of one of the most sensational stag do pranks of all time, which saw Mark Longley from Croydon, the groom,have the pubic hair of the stags glued to his face on his stag do, the stag weekend company Maximise.co.uk have put together the ultimate list of stag pranks for the best man to take inspiration from. Whatever pranks you end up using though, from the playful through to the ‘he’s-going-to-kill-me-for-doing-this’, remember to pick wisely. After all, what goes around does inevitably come around, usually around the time of your stag do.

The Good

Not all pranks have to end in tears. Play nice with these fun pranks, guaranteeing a good story for the best man speech but minimising the fear of evil prank retribution on your own stag do.

  • Sexy Hitchhiker: Only available in Eastern European countries (unsurprisingly), Maximise can organise a sexy twist to the classic hitchhiker hijack. The Sexy Hitchhiker package involves a prank straight from the plane. During the transfer from the airport to your hotel, your taxi driver will pick up a pretty girl looking for a ride. After some chit chat, the sexy hitchhiker will identify the stag and start a mini-cab strip to his surprise (and delight!)
  • Blindfold Bungee: Get the stag to face his fear of heights with blind bungee. It’ll take a lot of planning and some convincing execution, but the results will be worth the effort. Ideally incorporate into an active adventure weekend so it’s less of a random request. Get the camera ready to film the results as you watch the blindfolded groom, complete in a bungee harness, take a blind leap of faith into the abyss, only to land in a paddling pool a couple of feet away. Watch these Norwegian lads execute this prank to perfection below.

      Rabid Dog: For those who want to get truly barking mad on their stag weekend in Krakow… Got a stag who thinks he’s fearless? Get him to try our rabid dog chase! The rest of the lads will all stand back and watch the show as the stag gets baited by a K9 dog, who will hunt the stag down and latch on. Luckily enough the stag will be wearing protective gear and there will be a professional handler to keep things in order… maybe tell the stag to take a change of underwear just in case though!

  • Novelty Stripper: Enjoy this hilarious stag prank on your stag weekend in Budapest… You and the lads can watch the look of delight on the stags face at the prospect of a gorgeous stripper turning up to do her thing turn in to something else completely as our ‘bubbly’ beauty shimmies up to the man of the moment for a 15 minute performance… This buxom stripper will give you and the lads a show that none of you will forget in a hurry…

The Bad

If you’re looking to prank the stag with something a bit crueller, (maybe you want to get revenge for the pranks he organised for your stag?), then check out these lean and mean ideas.

  • Stag Arrest: This prank works best if only one or two of you know it’s a stitch up – the reaction of his terrified groom’s men with really get the stag convinced they’re in trouble.  Maximise’s Stag Arrest involves actual off-duty cops turning up to arrest your stag group on a misdemeanour charge. Those arrested will be taken away to a (now abandoned) police station that’s set up to look like a working station – there they’ll be interrogated until the prankster reveals all.
  • Get on the weights son: After the stag has finished his packing, sneak a brick or two into his luggage. Watch him struggle and sweat with his bag – but if he asks you if his bag feels heavy to you, lift it up as if it’s light as a feather and tell him to ‘get on the weights son’.
  • Busk-a-groom: Take the groom’s money and possessions, give him a guitar and force him to busk for his beer money.
  • Team Betrayal: Stuck for fancy dress ideas on a stag do? These Birmingham lads knew the outfit that would humiliate their West Brom supporting stag the most – the Wolves football kit! Getting the stag kitted out in the colour of his team’s nemesis is definitely going to wind him up a treat.

The Ugly

If it’s no-holds barred prank carnage you’re after, (and you’re prepared for your best mate to not speak to you until after the wedding), here are some more ugly stunts to consider.

  • Sexy stripper swap: Halfway through the stag’s striptease, have the female stripper blindfold him. She steps away to let a male stripper take over, unbeknownst to the stag. You’ll have some excellent, extortion-worthy video of the stag enjoy an outrageous lap dance from an oiled-up muscle man.
  • Destination Unknown: Lower the expectations of the groom by convincing him you’re headed to a cheap-but-cheerful party town. Pack everyone up on the National Express and watch the groom pretend he’s not disappointed he’s not headed to Vegas or Ibiza.  You can play the big reveal in the naff location by heading straight to the city’s airport and getting on an airplane out of there! (Just don’t forget the stag’s passport…)
  •  Preacher gotta preach:  Dress the stag as a religious figure, complete with bible, and he only gets a beer if and when he can get pedestrians to say Amen. Be careful how far you push religious dress up though; if you’re in a religious country you don’t want to upset any locals with blasphemous behaviour. After all, who can forget the stag group who dressed up as naughty nuns in Malia, only to be arrested and locked up for the night in a local Greek jail!

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  • Brown fudgies: Quite literally, the ugliest prank of them all. Anything involving laxatives is never going to end well. Before you bring poop-inducing pills into the prank equation though, remember that someone’s going to have to clean it up and have to explain the mess to the hotel manager.

As always if you’re a Best man, Groom, Father of the Bride, a Bride or Bridesmaid this year see ‘our services’ for speech writing. Have a look at some of our previous speech writing blogs.

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Home is where the ‘Smart’ is… ‘Home Stag Do’ continued.

Etiquette and Drinking Games.

As mentioned I’ve experienced over twenty Stag Do’s ranging from relatively sober affairs where we canoed by day, camped in a Tipi and supped away slow and steadily by night and other Do’s where we were as drunk as a Hillbillies in Moonshine season. Alcohol is not the be all and end all for a successful Do. As long as you have a laugh and you cater for the Groom and the majority’s tastes then you’ve got the Do by the Ging Gang Goolies. In my experience, gone are the days of tarring and feathering a nude Stag to a lamp post on a cold British night. Nowadays this torment is as pointless as putting ‘Racing Stripes’ on a Sloth as the Fuzz will be on to you faster than you can say “That looks like a penis, only smaller.”

What alcohol does bring to the table is a vehicle for lowering inhibitions. Old school classic drinking etiquette can be as harsh or as relaxed as the occasion requires. Winners for me have been Left Handed Drinking, a Ban on using first names; allocating a Freeze Master who randomly poses in an obscure manner and the last person to copy has to drink; a Thumb Master who stealthily places his thumb on a surface in plain sight and the last person to place their thumb down sups; naming an imaginary ‘Little man’ who is an inch tall and sits on the rim of your glass. You have to name him, lift him off the glass and place him on the table before you drink and you lift him back up onto his perch post slurp; other games include Fuzzy Duck (In a circle people repeat “Fuzzy Duck” in an allocated direction. If someone says “Does he?!” you change direction. For a more complex game please look up ‘Yeeha, ‘Pimmily’’ and ‘Spoof’ or sit in your local rugby club after a match and take notes. If you want to achieve the group decorum to pull off the drinking games successfully you need to allocate a ‘Snitch’ and a ‘Weights & Measures’ man. A Snitch has to keep an Eagle Eye out for any discrepancies to the rules and when a culprit has been spotted the Weights & Measures man allocates a fine of 1 to 4 fingers width worth of your beverage to be seen away. If you’re not feeling the love for full blown laddish Stag Do and just fancy getting steadily Ale’d up then a ’Kitty’ will suffice.

Kangaroo Court

All you will require is an appropriate, private space according on numbers. The mock court set-up requires an area for all the Stag Doers to sit/stand; ideally with a bar/access to alcohol; an area at the front where the ‘Judge’ sits with a record of Stag Do discrepancies and he keeps order. Nearby you will need a ‘Defence’ and a ‘Prosecutor’ to represent each individual who is called up to answer to the alleged offence. Examples I have witnessed include lateness, pulling an attractively challenged lady, splintering off from the group and the heinous act of disobeying the Social Media Blackout. The best punishments involve forfeits of embarrassment and ridicule.

Taking one for the team

The finest example I’ve seen of a Best man taking one for the team came on a Magaluf Stag Do in a pub where the Stag was escorted up onto the bar and posed on all fours while a sexy, yet masochistic senorita spanked his bare arse with a studded paddle. After the first strike the Stag hopped off the bar and was as useful as a ‘Chicken Dentist’. Like a drunken Knight in shining Board Shorts the Best man stepped up and the Groom ‘tagged out’. Several strikes later the Best man received a standing ovation and minced away. His arse resembled the Elephant man’s face for days. ‘Taking one for the team’ also occurs when a Best man hangs back on the drinking so that he can keep his wits about him should any mischiefs go awry. Some great pieces of advice are get ‘Beer Fit’ (think Rocky training montage), keep hydrated, book a day off following the Stag Dos return to reimburse the inevitable sleep debt, befriend all Bar Keeps and accommodation bosses and guard the ‘Kitty’ like it’s a new-born Panda.

Coming up.

An example of a ‘Numpty Proof’ Stag Do Guide Lanyard to keep the Stag Do as smooth as Arthur Fonzarello.