Battle of the Bridezilla. “We’re gonna need a bigger Best man.”

My numerous Wedding day ‘coordinator’ roles tend to arouse curiosity. The minute I tell people that I’m a Bride Wedding Negotiator (BWN), they want to know what it’s like to talk to people who are flirting with absolute desperate scenarios that could de-rail into a crisis at any second.

Since I was 22, friends, family and onlookers have encouraged me to jot down my chronicles over the last decade of working within such intense pressurized combat zones and share the lessons I have learned in convincing unstable people to down their weapons and surrender peacefully. I have gathered intelligence and established protocol in bargaining approaches, high-risk taking, crisis negotiating and evacuation procedures.

The Bridezilla is what is known in the trade as a Catastrophizer. They can be very unhinged, erratic and can explode without warning. Alone, they can be managed with tact (avoiding additional stress such as ‘not’ sharing the Stag Do stripper war stories of the Groom), by using positive language (the power outage with the knackered Marquee generator will only add to the ambiance), managing emotions of the Bride (exiting stage left), having contingency plans (Spa days, Chick flicks, “Look over there” and any other possible distractions.)

Having a strong and reliable Task Force around you is the best form of advice I can offer. If you have patience and creativity within the Task Force of people around you and the collective willingness to ‘do whatever it takes’ to diffuse the stress bomb that is the Bridezilla; then you are as ready as the maiden cliff top flight of a Barnacle Goose chick. The usual suspects are the Groom, Ushers, father of the bride and anyone who you would trust with your last Rolo. It’s of the up-most importance to adopt the patience of William Wallace. “Hold. Hold. Hoold. Hooold. Hoooold. NOW!!” Then chop the target down like the ‘Warrior Poets’ you are.

The Bridezillas of the wedding world are few and far between. You are more likely to come across a Bride who is a legend for 99% of the time and then when you least expect it their meticulous plan will hit a pot-hole on the road to the big day and you will have a ‘Wild Cat’ on your hands. (Don’t promise anything you can’t deliver and save the Groom to-be like you’re diving on a rogue grenade to save him.) The Bride’s I have had the pleasure of being a Best man or Usher for have been totally chilled, minimal stress and we’re still talking to this day. ‘Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’. Be prepared, stay safe and if in doubt, stop, drop and roll.

As always take a look at ‘our services’ if you require any assistance.

Coming up – Best man experience number two. Speech highlights of a fun-packed, free reigned crack at the Best man title.

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