Two Best man heads are better than one.

Having more than one Best man provides safety in numbers from the potential storm that lies in wait.

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Nowadays the Best man role is quite often shared between two champs. In my experience this eases the pressure considerably. As long as the other Best man is not cut from the same cloth as Joey Essex or The Wizard of Oz’s Cowardly Lion then you can avoid a metaphorical house landing on you and you’ll be over the rainbow faster than you can say “There’s no place like home”.

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The best piece of advice I’ve been given (apart from ‘Always pull your Pipe out to spit’) is ‘If you fail to prepare then prepare to fail’. (See Necessity is the mother of invention Blog) So I would gather the specific set of skills that you and your Best man partner have and exploit the bejesus out of them. For example you can Ying Yang it, ‘Good Cop Bad Cop’ it where one of you can be the sincere, caring and supportive Best man who mentions the beautiful moment when the lovely couple realised that they yearned to grow old together and the other Best man can mention such times as when the Groom won a Dwarf Tossing competition or when he woke up face down in the dog basket dressed as Dolly Parton.

A wedding I went to a while back had two Best men and they were absolutely class. Rather than the ‘Good Cop Bad Cop’ efforts these two guys figuratively bounced off each other like a Ron Jeremy movie scene. An example of their efforts included a cheeky poem where they alternated lines and took turns holding up blown up pictures of the Groom in a compromising, cringingly manner.

When people talk about Best man speeches and public speaking in general ‘nerves’ are at the top of the bill. (See speech nerves blog) You’ve got two choices; sink like an obese Scout in a pair of pyjamas trying to gain his Brick Collecting Badge from the bottom of the pool. Or swim triumphantly like a majestic Hoff out of the break of a wave with your chest fro glistening like an Otter in the moonlight.

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There are several options and only you know what works for you. The underlying foundation for success is a positive attitude. What’s the worst that can happen? You’re not going to spontaneously combust up there. Visualisation can be a winner. If you practice your speech, record it, watch it back and visualise how you were standing, smiling and strutting around like a proud Peacock then it’s on like Ping Pong. A popular tip from the masses is to visualize the wedding guests in their Birthday suits. Now, in my opinion visualizing an octogenarian Beaver or my pleasantly portly Uncle Llewelyn’s tally-whacker is a place I want to take a wide berth of. Like I said, whatever works.

A possible flaw for you is that if there is an obvious gulf in skills between the two of you such as Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny Devito in Twins, chances are you may have to carry the weaker Best man. If your fellow Bestie is as useful as paper condom then focus on individual strengths to help sail you through. If one of you is petrified at the thought of speaking in public then why not pull off a ‘Pen and Teller’ style effort where the quieter one can play upon that? Whatever you do; as long as you practise, prepare and realise that the guests are behind you and keen for you to do well then you’ll be as successful as a Quarterback on Prom Night. If there are any oddball guests who want you to fall flat on your face then they are the kind of penis’ who don’t deserve to register on your ‘Give a Fudge’ gauge anyway. Karma will sort them out in due course.

In a nutshell

Safety in numbers is a sweet crash mat. From a lazy man’s perspective a benefit is that you only have to do half the work of a lonesome Best man. You will have mutual support for the Stag Do capers (see organising Stag Do blog). Also an occasional and random drama may rear its ugly noggin along your journey. At least you can tackle any pot-holes with unity (See Bridezilla and Mother In-law blogs). The only negative is that the Chief Bridesmaid may have to pick between the two of you for a traditional roll in the Hay Barn. Keep smiling and if you lose your place or composure have a drink at hand ready. Taking a moment and having a sip is an ideal pause to gather your thoughts and nonchalantly slide back in where you left off like the well-practised, heroic, loveable pro that you are. Carpe diem.

As always if you’re a Best man, Groom, Father of the Bride, a Bride or Bridesmaid this year see ‘our services’ for speech writing.  Have a look at some of our previous speech writing blogs

Coming up

Attack of Mr Cold Feet.

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