If the Bridezilla alone wasn’t enough of a challenge. There is another potential colossal to contend with. This added volatile ingredient can inevitably lead to a ‘Mexican Stand-off’ and this will test the minerals of the entire Team Groom to breaking point. Members may buckle and wilt under the feverish furore. The true test is… The ‘Mother in-law’. (the anagram ‘Hitler’ is present within the title. Coincidence much?)
The previous Bridezilla tact methods will not avail. You need to transcend to a Zen like state to conquer this juggernaut of juggernauts. In the words of Martin Luther King Jr “Pursue peaceful ends through peaceful means.” The last thing you want to be saying is “I had a ‘nightmare’.” You will need to have honed negotiation skills. Just remember, ‘Dedication is what you need if you want to be a record breaker.’ Do not show weakness. Like the old tired Lion of the pride, always hold your own, maintain eye contact and sleep with one eye open. You need to ‘metaphorically’ (I can’t stress this enough. Not literally) demobilise the Mother in-law by targeting key areas. Anywhere down the centre line of the body or a head shot and you’re taking her down. Good night, God bless. This requires military strategies such as surveillance of movement to avoid contact or adopting the ‘Trojan Horse’ strategy to avoid contact. Study your enemy, there is always a chink in the armour if you look hard enough.
‘Make sure Team Groom keep their heads on a swivel.’
The Wedding rehearsal and the ‘Big Day’.
Wedding rehearsals and the big day make it impossible to avoid the Mother In-law on a Mano v Womano basis. In this case you are vulnerable and will be taken down faster than a Bride’s Nighty if you step out of line. I can’t stress this enough; don’t engage in combat without a prior understanding of your adversary. Think General Custer’s Last Stand at the Battle of the Little Big Horn. That ended in tears before bedtime. Know your foe.
Avoid any sensitive comments during the speech if you think it could trigger a Battle Royale. ‘Friendly Fire’ banter may seem a fun idea and this could appear the case at the time as everyone enjoys a giggle. However in the long run you could wake up in a hotel room bath tub full of ice minus a kidney. Pace yourself tiger.
Never is there a time where you need the mercy and support of the Bride to-be more. If ever there was a time to deflect any stress away from your shores, this is it. It’s your time to cash in on any Brownie Points for being a legend and keep the Bride at ease throughout the Stag Do journey. (See Stag Do Blog)
In a nutshell
Have a military, strategic ‘Pow Wow’ with Team Groom. Keep everyone sweet and onside; avoid friendly fire as this could bite you ‘Forest Gump styley’ “Right in the butt-ocks” and your greatest ally is the Bride to-be. Treat her right and look forward to calm shores.